Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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