K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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