I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
