Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
