turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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