So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
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Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
