After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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