saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
