I accidentally had phone sex last night
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I got inside last night via doggy door
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
