What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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