You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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