And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
