did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
