Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I bet he comes in French.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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