It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Couch. On fire.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
