dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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