I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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