drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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