You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
