youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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