Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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