she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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