Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
