im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
