I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
