just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
