Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
