Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shitshow foam night was such a success
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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