Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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