Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We got so high we made milksteak
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
