He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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