i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
