We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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