You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize