Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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