so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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