If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
