I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We are two peas in an std pod
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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