please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
