he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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