she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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