So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
