I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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