she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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