i just made my gag reflex go away.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
