three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
