Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize