I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
50% drunk capacity currently
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
