Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."