i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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