3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Let's get the cat blown out
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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