Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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