Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Too much gin, very little bucket
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
