Well douche your snatch and let's go!
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
