Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
