I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
