Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
