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I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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