i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
kristin has been a bad kristin
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
