after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
