I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
