you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
