So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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