My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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