The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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