i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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