I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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