I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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