So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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