Where are you?
In a non slutty way
"it" just moved
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
