I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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